3rd Floor Balcony

I'm an optimistic guy. I look for good things, signs of encouragement in the midst of chaos and dispair. It's no wonder I've been an avid member of leaf nation for so many years.

But those that have seen me the past few weeks know I've been discombobulated - I've lost my hockey pride.

I was so excited when Silver Fox Cliff Fletcher was hired by MLSE. The removal of JFJ and this interim hire had finally said to the long suffering fandom the Leafs are going to re-build. No more quick fixes. Fletcher had one singular goal: Clear house for a new management to start over. Remove the stain of the past two eras of mismanagement.


But it didn't happen.

Why? Because when finally management understood what we've been hoping for years, the players revolted. They refused to acknowledge their role in all of this. They said, we still have a chance. We will make the playoffs and anything can happen. And the Muskoka 5 held their ground, refusing to waive their no-trade clauses (as is their right) and hamstringing Fletcher's ability to trade them at the deadline.

On some levels, I get this. I don't ever want to give up. When in sport, with no hope of winning, I'm out there giving everything for the game. Their hope and attitude's can never be faulted, but it is their action that is the problem.

Mccabe said after last night's game, "Another failure. It sucks." But his timing, like his game, is way off. See, it's not these last few games where the Leafs failed. What the Muskoka 5 failed to understand is their actions for the first 5 months of the season lost this season. By my count, the honourable thing to do would have been to admit their failure, vow to try harder and let management do whatever they felt they needed. Their failure was not last night. By last night, I had given up on my Leafs for a month. And now, this chapter finally ends October's failure with the Leaf's mathematically missing the playoffs, 12th in the conference, with 4 games left to play.

Now, I'm looking for a new team. I can't take it anymore. For years, I've accepted middling management and when management finally turned around, I was betrayed by selfish players. That's it. It's over. My hockey loyalty is up for grabs. Maybe I should switch to Montreal... Leading the conference, a host of young stars and perhaps the best future goalie in the league?

But you know, I was there in the Forum on Nov 18, 2000, the night the Leafs took the Canadians apart 6-1. I remember the pride of a stadium filled with more Leaf jerseys then the home team, and I remember the next day waking up to the firing of Alain Vigneaut. Oh, to be a Montreal fan - I don't know I can do that either...

Maybe what I need is a new sport. I've been playing a lot of Ultimate Frisbee... Like a lost love, one doesn't ever, really, recover.